i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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