He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
