Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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