My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
