He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
