You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize