no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
The ass gains better be worth it
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize