I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
