she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
