Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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