Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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