Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
