I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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