You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
