do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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