HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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