Non-Jews are for practice
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm at about main and main street
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
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