i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
