You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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