Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
