and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
