Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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