Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
