Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
