I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
