I looked at my own cervix.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
