the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
