Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
