The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
