what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize