We got so high we made milksteak
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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