I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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