I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
