By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
