she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
