Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
There r osticjed everywhere
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I can't turn off my feet"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
