I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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