i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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