She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
