I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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