You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
