Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
