he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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