butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i think i have herpe
just one?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
