Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
