Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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