nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You're like the curious george of whores
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
