are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize