I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
