i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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