He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize