white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
