So drunk, too bad you don't want this
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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