WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
