But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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