chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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