guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize