So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
