How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
