We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
