Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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