I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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