I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
